


Love Redeemer

by scelestus



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Amnesia, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blood and Violence, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Everyone is Crazy, M/M, Mafia EXO, Mafia Kim Jongin | Kai, Manipulation, Masochism, Mind Games, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Police Officer Sehun, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Riding, Undercover, chanyeol just wants a normal life, idk man read at your own risks, kris is loyal, kyungsoo is almost as psycho as kai, luhan is obsessed, psychotic mafia boss kai vs. corrupted cop sehun, suho is an unhinged police chief, where do i even begin to tag this...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 03:35:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19265104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scelestus/pseuds/scelestus
Summary: All Sehun wants is a fresh start, but can his wish ever come true? Can Kai truly be redeemed, or is it too late? Where is the point of no return for the both of them?





	Love Redeemer

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sequel to Love Dealer and Love Killer. i did repost the last 3 chapters of LK to help jolt your memory but... that's it.
> 
> WARNING: this story is extremely dark and has everything terrible you can possibly think of. it's intense, violent, and hardcore. don't say i didn't warn you.
> 
> if you still want to read this incredibly fucked up story despite knowing all that... enjoy! lol. the mind games between mafia boss kai and cop sehun continue...

**LOVE KILLER. . .**

The Unflinching Truth--

 

☩

It’s like déjà vu.

Like that time in the Phoenix when he first saw Kyungsoo stepped through the room.

God. Why is he _always_ getting played like this?

“Dammit, Kim Minseok. Don’t tell me you’re a spy in the police, too,” Sehun grits, glaring at the mentioned man.

“Spy? Not quite. I am a police officer.”

“But you’re working with Luhan.”

“Because it’s a mutually beneficial relationship,” the other replies simply. He takes a casual step towards Sehun.

“So you guys know each other? How? I mean, Luhan works”―worked?―“for Exo.”

“I used to live in China before. My mother was Chinese,” Minseok replies. “That’s how we met. It wasn’t until after I moved to Korea and raised up the ranks in the policeforce that Luhan joined Exo. He only became a member two years ago, after all.”

“And we didn’t start talking again until we have a common goal, did we,” Luhan adds, clutching at his hand where there is blood still steadily dripping down from the gunshot earlier. “Although… That might’ve not been the case anymore. Or ever did.”

“It’s still common. We want to take down Kai.”

“Yes, but Sehun wasn’t part of our plan!”

“Did you really think,” Minseok asks with a tilt of his head, “we can lure Kai here without using Sehun as hostage?”

Sehun curses. It’s always been like this―enemies of Kai using him as a bargaining chip to get to Kai.

“We can do it without using Sehun,” Luhan disagrees. “We outnumber him, and he’s injured!”

“It will still be safer and more reassuring to keep Sehun to threaten him,” Minseok says, taking another step towards Sehun with cold, determined eyes.

“No, I’m not letting you take him as hostage for your powerplay. He’s coming with me,” Luhan growls, reaching inside his jacket to no doubt take out a dagger―

―as Minseok calmly says, “You might not want to do that, Luhan,”―

―and another shot erupts in the air, slapping the dagger out of Luhan’s hand again.

“Fuck!” Luhan screams, glaring in the direction of where the bullet had come from.

_Shit. Shit shit shit_ , Sehun panics upon seeing who it is.

“What the _fuck_ , you’re siding with him too, Kris?” Luhan asks in disbelief.

“Sorry, Luhan. Minseok makes sense, you know? We all know Sehun is Kai’s biggest weakness. We need him to take Kai down,” Kris replies, keeping one gun pointed at Luhan as his other hand, equipped with another gun, shoots at Luhan’s old gun still laying on the ground from where it had fallen earlier, skidding it farther away from its owner so Luhan can’t pick it up.

“Kris, keep an eye on him while I get Sehun,” Minseok says before turning towards Sehun. “Now. Do you want to do this the hard way or the easy way?”

Sehun scoffs, eyes trained on the other man even as the muzzle of the gun gets closer and closer towards him until it’s hitting his chest.

“I know you can take care of yourself in a fight. But don’t try anything funny or I’ll blow a hole through your skin.”

“Pretty sure you need to keep me alive if you wanna threaten Kai with me,” Sehun retorts dryly.

“Smart boy,” Minseok chuckles as he steps behind Sehun, wrenching one of his arm back harshly and making the latter cry out at the violence, his shoulder almost dislocating in the process. “You know I can put holes in you and still have you breathing, right?”

Sehun shudders at the emotionless tone as he twists his head back to glare  at the man behind him, a gun pointing warningly at his throat. “Just who exactly are you? What kind of cop is―this―”

“A cop who isn’t deluded in feats of grandeurs like Suho,” Minseok answers, kicking the back of his legs to make Sehun drop down onto his knees. “A cop who knows you sometimes gotta get your hands dirty to achieve justice.”

“Justice… Even Suho, despite how much he hates Kai, has never stooped as low as you… You can’t call yourself a cop―”

“And how do you know I don’t hate Kai _more_ than Suho does?” Minseok huffs, digging the muzzle at his temple in annoyance. “Because let me tell you, I hate him far more than any of you here ever could.”

“…Why?”

“Because he was the one who killed my father!” the other snaps, shocking Sehun. “He fucking―ruined my family―”

Kai killed Minseok’s father? He remembers when he was researching Kai, there wasn’t anything of note that connected him to Minseok’s father. In the first place, Kai rarely killed anyone himself, especially after he had become boss of Exo. There wasn’t a need for him to dirty his own hands―

“How long ago was this? Must have been awhile, right? Before he took over Exo?”

Minseok chuckles. “You know, sometimes I wondered how you got so far, but I guess you’re smarter than you look. Yes, it was. Nineteen years ago, to be exact.”

Nineteen years ago… Calculations run through his mind instantly. Kai is currently twenty-three. Nineteen years ago, Kai was only four then… _Four…_

_“The first time I held a gun was when I was four,”_ Kai had told him. _“The first time I killed someone was five months after. It was during one of our training drills, an accident. It was my own instructor.”_

Sehun gasps immediately. “Did your father use to be an instructor for an underground child soldier program?”

Sehun can feel Minseok freezing at his words. “How… How did you know that? _No one_ should―”

“Child soldier program?” Kris raises an eyebrow while Luhan looks equally intrigued.

“Jesus christ, Kai was _four_ back then! It was an accident―”

“I don’t fucking care!” Minseok screams suddenly, smashing the sole of his shoe onto Sehun’s back in anger, making the latter crash down onto the ground. “My father was _dead_ because of him! And since the organization silenced anyone not of use to them anymore, _including_ their families to leave no trail, they came after my mother and me! We tried to smuggle ourselves to Korea, but my mother was shot and killed while trying to distract them from noticing me! I watched her died in front of my eyes while I was hidden behind a barrel on a ship to Korea!”

Sehun wheezes heavily, pushing himself up shakily onto his hands and knees.

“And it’s all that fucking Kim Kai’s fault! We were a happy family! It took me _years_ to find out the damn kid who killed my father had become the adopted child of Exo’s boss! Living a rose-tinted life! While here I am, with nothing left―”

“You’re sorely mistaken if you think Kai’s life has been  _rose-tinted―_ ” The rest of Sehun’s retort morphs into grunts of pain as Minseok keeps kicking him brutally, almost hysterically, like he’s lost it after revealing his past.

“Goddamnit, stop hurting Sehun!” Luhan snarls, watching the scene. “Kris! Can’t you see how crazy Minseok has become? Sehun is innocent in all this!”

Kris looks torn as he slides his gaze at the two. “Stop hurting Sehun, Minseok. You’re directing your anger at the wrong person.”

“Am I?” Minseok hisses, hurling Sehun backwards by grabbing a fistful of his hair roughly. “Fine. If you don’t want me to hurt you anymore, then tell me where the fuck Kai’s location is!”

“Like I’d ever tell you― _Ah―_!” Sehun gasps brokenly as the other slams his head down onto the ground, skin splitting and blood dripping from his temple from the impact against the hard cement.

His head is spinning and his vision is starting to get hazy when he hears a new voice breathes out, “ _Oh my god…_ What―Is that _Kim Minseok_? What is―”

“Shit, _Chanyeol―_ ” Kris curses as he sees Chanyeol at the entrance to the rooftop.

“Kris, what the _fuck_ is this?” Chanyeol looks like he wants to say more but opts to glance back in concern at the two in the far corner again. “Damnit, Minseok, I don’t know what you’re planning but why the fuck are you hurting _Sehun_? He’s done nothing―”

“That’s the problem,” Minseok replies, his words low yet chilling as he jerks Sehun up by the hair again carelessly. “If he’d tell me where Kai is I wouldn’t need to bruise up this pretty face, now would I?”

“You can kill me if you want,” Sehun manages to pant out, vision dotted with black spots as he can feel blood dripping steadily down his cheek from his forehead. Not good. He’s got a head wound and he’s close to blacking out.

Or maybe _good_. Maybe this can all be over with, as long as Kai is _safe―_

“ _Oh Sehun―_ ” Minseok murmurs threateningly, jamming the gun against his neck.

“I will never― _ever_ ―tell you where Kai is.” _He’s probably escaped by now. Hopefully back to Korea_ , he adds internally. “So go ahead. Kill me. I don’t care.”

There’s a stilted silence as the other digests his words until he spits out, “ _Fine_. Maybe you’d be more likely to talk after I put a few _holes_ in you. As long as you’re still breathing and can talk, it doesn’t matter if your _arms_ and _legs_ get blown to bits, right?”

In an instance, there are protests resounding in the air.

Chanyeol yells, “ _Dammit_ , Sehun, Kai is not worth this, tell him―” the same time Luhan shouts, “Minseok, I swear to god I’m gonna _kill_ you if you do anything further―”

Amidst the noises, no one hears when the door to the rooftop is opened once again, and out steps someone―

―someone _none_ of them expected.

“Let him go, Kim Minseok,” a voice resounds through the air, ripping through the commotion with a clear, firm, _cutting_ tone.

Sehun feels like he can't breathe when he slides his gaze towards the entrance, where there stood―

“ _K―Kai…_ ”

“Hi Sehuna. Sorry I’m late,” Kai smiles softly at him, and Sehun can feel the tears he’s been trying so hard to keep in from all the torture resurfacing, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.

Kai is here, his shirt still drenched in dry blood, face pale and obviously in poor health, but he’s _here―_

Standing tall, the same eyes, same nose, same lips.

The same intimidating posture as he straightens up and shifts his eyes back to the man behind Sehun, gaze cold and _terrifying_ despite the haggard appearance―

The boss of Exo, unflinching, daunting, _fearless―_

“Let Sehun go. He’s innocent in all this. I’m here now. You can kill me instead,” is what Kai says with resolved eyes, and Sehun feels his heart stopping at the words.

Sehun feels his heart lodged inside his throat as he watches Kai takes steady steps towards them.

“You’re finally here!” Minseok cackles hysterically. “I knew you would come if your _precious_ Sehun is in danger.”

“Yes, I’m here. So let him go,” Kai tells him grimly.

“Come here first. And don’t even think about trying anything funny or I’ll blow Sehun’s head off.”

“No, don’t come―” Sehun cries. “Why are you here, you should be― _Ah_!” He wheezes when Minseok tightens the arm around his neck, cutting off his airway.

“Don’t hurt him,” Kai grits. He finally arrives to stand directly in front of them.

Minseok inspects him.

“Don’t worry, I don’t have any weapons on me.” Kai puts his hand up in surrender. “You can ask Luhan to search me if you want.”

“No need. I know you wouldn’t dare if you’re smart,” the other scoffs. With one harsh shove, Sehun stumbles and faceplants at the ground as Minseok spins Kai around, locking his arms behind his back with a gun pointing threateningly at his throat. “I finally have you―”

Sehun stares up from his position on the ground in panic when he can see how close Minseok is to pulling the trigger and killing Kai. His vision is spinning when he spots something gleaming on the pavement nearby.

Luhan’s gun from where Kris had skidded it earlier.

With the last of his strength, he leaps towards the object and, without wasting time to blink, aims at Minseok’s hand to knock away the gun pointing at Kai.

Unfortunately, with his headwound and the bloodloss, his vision blurry, and combined with trying not to shoot at Kai himself since they’re so close together, he misses and the bullet grazes Minseok’s shoulder instead.

“You _bitch―_!” the other hisses, raising his gun to aim at him.

Everything seems like it’s happening all at once as Kai elbows the man behind him, knocking him back as Chanyeol is finally able to shoot at Minseok now without bringing danger to Sehun, and, in a flash, the half-Chinese man falters back, bleeding out from the chest.

“It’s over now, Minseok,” Luhan announces, frowning at him. The mentioned man looks wildly about, knowing Luhan was done with him the moment he had hurt Sehun, and Kris wouldn’t dare to help him with Chanyeol around.

Sehun, though, isn’t paying attention to any of that. All he can see is Kai staggering his way towards him, eyes locked to him in yearning. “Sehuna…”

“Kai―” Just when the other is finally within Sehun’s reach, there’s a roar from behind Kai as Minseok screams ludicrously.

“I will take you _down_ , Kim Kai,” Minseok murmurs, his voice a low, chilling sound. “No matter if I have to go down with you in the process. I will avenge for my family _no matter what_!”

“Kai, behind you―” Sehun gasps as he watches Minseok dive down, clutching arms around Kai’s waist before dragging them both backward, towards―

―the edge of the rooftop―

“Kai―” Sehun yells, scrambling forward and crawling hurriedly towards them when Minseok leaps from the rooftop, pulling Kai with him.

“Kai, oh my _god_ , no, please, don’t let go,” he cries, staring anxiously down from the ledge. Kai manages to grab one hand onto the ledge while the rest of his body dangles dangerously in thin air. Minseok seems to have already fallen off, but that’s not what Sehun is focusing on at the moment―

“As long as you’re safe…” Kai manages to wheeze out, puffs of air hitting the wall but his hold is faltering. “I told you before, I have no regrets as long as you stay safe…”

“No, _oh my god_ ,” Sehun hiccups, tears flowing down his cheeks freely as he clutches onto Kai’s arm in desperation, but it’s too slippery from all the blood. “Give me your other hand. You can do it. _Please_ , don’t fall. Don’t _die―_ ”

“Remember, I love you, Sehuna…” Kai whispers, voice but a soft caress in the wind as his grip finally loosens, fingers trembling from unable to hold his body up due to all the loss of strength, and―

“Kai. No no _noooooo―_ ” Sehun screams, watching in horror as Kai falls down right before his eyes, body plunging into the abyss below. “ _Kai―_ ”

“Sehun, _stop_ , you can’t go after him―” Chanyeol shouts as he and Luhan finally made it towards them, holding Sehun back at the last second when he was about to jump after Kai.

“No, _let me go_!” Sehun screams, struggling frantically against them almost madly. “I need to go after Kai, he can’t die, he can’t _leave_ me―”

His words are abruptly cut off as they all hear a muted _thump!_ from down below.

Sehun hastily looks down from the rooftop, and feels his body run cold.

Kai is a bloody mess on the ground, ten storey below.

“No. No… Nonononono _ahhhhh―――_ ”

☩

_TWO MONTHS LATER,_   
 

“―Has decided, due to the inconclusive evidences, Kim Jongin will be placed under house arrest for six months. If, during this time, he is found to partake in any suspicious activities, he shall be tried again, with a harsher sentence this time.”

“That is all. Court is now adjourned.”

A gavel bangs on the hardwood soundblock, a resolute sound.

☩

“Sehun!”

Sehun looks back to see Suho giving him a pointed look at the other end of the hallway. Biting on his lip, he turns to the man beside him. “Wait here, okay? I’ll only be a minute.”

The man nods, standing still, and Sehun makes his way towards his superior.

“Are you really okay with _this_?” Suho asks him impatiently just as Sehun is within reach.

“…It’s not like we can charge him any further due to the lack of evidences,” Sehun reluctantly says. “Kai did cover all his bases when we went to China, and from the actual physical evidences remaining and the hospital records afterward and the testimonies, it actually made him look like the  _victim_ instead due to what happened…”

“Well, yes, but,” Suho groans in frustration. “This isn’t _right_! We all know he deserves a way harsher sentence! This is like― _nothing―_ ”

“I understand how you feel, hyung, but we can’t do much unless he does something incriminating again and we have the proper evidences to show to the judge,” Sehun explains patiently. “And given the way he is now…” He chances a look back to where he had left the man, who is lingering nonchalantly with his back leaning on the wall, gazing idly at the passerbys. “Well… I don’t think it’ll happen…”

“Unless he goes back to his old ways,” Suho growls. “You can wipe the mind, but you can’t wipe _habits_ and the _inclinations_ to do bad things that’s been imbedded inside you since young.”

“Well, if that happens, you know I’ll be the first one to stop him, Suho-hyung.” Sehun gives him an assuring smile. “Anyways, I gotta go now. I’ll talk to you tomorrow at work, okay?”

“Sehun, _wait―_ ” Suho calls out, but Sehun has already left.

“Hey, sorry. Did you wait long?” Sehun says, jogging up to the man who had been waiting for him.

“It’s alright,” the other shrugs. He looks behind Sehun, and the latter follows suit to see Suho glaring at them before walking away. “Your superior doesn’t look too happy.”

“Ah, well…”

“He probably had wanted me to get a harsher sentence, huh…?”

Sehun gives him a sheepish look that is more like a cringe instead.

“It’s alright, I understand. I must have been a really awful person, huh?”

Sehun feels his heart pricking at the sad, despondent look in the other’s eyes. “Jongin…”

Looking at him like this, it reminds Sehun of that day, one month ago.

☩

_ONE MONTH EARLIER,_   
 

_“Who… are you…?”_

Kai finally wakes up from a coma after one month, and this― _this_ is the first thing that comes out of his mouth.

Sehun feels his vision whitening out as he listens to the doctor’s diagnosis.

“A― _Amnesia…_?” he repeats faintly.

The doctor nods. “It was a miracle he had survived the fall at all. The tree thankfully broke his fall halfway down, so the impact wasn’t as fatal, but he still sustained a considerable headwound. Not to mention with all the loss of blood from his chest… There wasn’t enough blood flowing to his brain. It isn’t unexpected that this could happen.”

“But―Amnesia… You mean he forgot _everything_? I―I had it, too, before, but I still remembered some of my past―”

“The degree of amnesia depends on the injuries, and the actual person. PTSD could have a lot to do with it, too. If he hadn’t had a very pleasant past, it isn’t a surprise if his mind chose to wipe everything out, starting a new blank slate.”

“A _blank slate…_ ” Sehun murmurs, feeling like he might pass out. “Will he… Will he _remember_ , one day?”

“No one knows,” the doctor answers honestly, but kindly. “He could regain it if something by chance triggers it, like seeing something of the past or have an incident similar happen to him again, or… He could live, never regaining his memories until the day he dies of old age.”

“ _Oh my god…_ ” Sehun whispers, not sure how to feel. Even after the doctor had left and Sehun is standing in front of Kai again, he still isn’t sure what to say.

The man on the bed gives him a hesitant look, and it looks so _out of place_ on the normally confident expression on Kai's face. “So I take it you were― _are_ … someone close to me? I’m sorry that I can’t remember you…”

“I―It’s alright…” It’s not alright at all, but Sehun doesn’t know how else to respond.

“Hey…” the other winces, looking almost embarrassed. “It’s probably really stupid to ask this, but… Do you know what my name is? I can’t… I can’t even remember that… God, I feel really stupid right now…”

“Your name…” Sehun stares, choking back a sob as he takes in the open, almost _innocent_ look on the other’s face, and feels his hands trembling by his sides. “Your name… Your name is _Jongin_. _Kim Jongin_.”

“Kim Jongin…” Kai, no, _Jongin_ , murmurs with a small smile on his face. “It sounds nice… I think I’ll like it.”

“Yeah…” Sehun agrees, smiling back even as a tear starts to slide down his cheek. “Yeah, I hope you’ll like it, too.”

☩

“Sehun?” a voice asks, snapping him out of his flashback.

“Sorry,” Sehun gives him a sheepish look. “Anyways, I know you’ve been here before, but this is my home. And it’ll also be your home from now on. This is where you’ll stay in for your house arrest. I’ll show you to your room―”

“Sehun,” Jongin calls out, wrapping fingers around his wrist to tug him back.

“W―What is it?”

“I was a really bad person before, huh?”

Sehun gnaws on his lip.

“And that’s―I’m okay with it, you know. Receiving this sentence. Because even if I can’t remember a thing, I still need to pay for all the crimes I did, but…” There’s pain inside Jongin’s orbs as he continues. “The thing that upsets me the most is that I… I probably _hurt_ you, right? In the past?”

Sehun drops his gaze, staring at their linked hands.

“I noticed you always look at me with this… this _look_ in your eyes. Like. Like you don’t know how to react to me? You treat me really nicely, but… I can see the _suffering_ behind your eyes that you’re desperately trying to hide, and it… It makes me feel really bad… That you treat me so well despite having been hurt by me in the past…”

“I…”

“And I just. I don’t get _why_? Why do you do this to yourself? Why did you volunteer to be in charge of my house arrest if it’s going to bring you nothing but pain?”

“Because…” Sehun sucks in a breath, voice shaky. “Because yes, it’s true, you did hurt me a lot in the past, but… But you also made me _happy_ , too. And most importantly, you made me feel _loved_. I _loved_ you, before. And even if you forgot everything and don’t love me anymore, I can’t―can’t just leave you to be by yourself. I can’t just make these _feelings_ go away. I still l―love you…”

“Sehun…” Jongin murmurs, and Sehun almost jolts as he feels a palm by his cheek, wiping away a fallen tear. He hadn't even realized he'd been crying. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”

Sehun’s breath hitches, his heart pounding erratically inside his chest as Jongin pulls him inside his arms, embracing him.

“I can’t promise that I’ll ever regain my memory,” the other whispers by his ear. “But I do―I do feel this… this _connection_ , between us. Even at that first moment when I woke up in the hospital room and you were the first person I see, sleeping beside me in a chair with your head resting on my bed, I can feel something _familiar_ about you. I must have… I must have loved you a lot, too, before I lost my memories.”

Sehun just cries harder, fingers clutching onto Jongin’s shirt.

“I can’t promise I’ll ever regain my memory,” Jongin repeats. “But I want… I want to give us a _chance_. If you’re willing. If I was such a horrible person to you in the past, then I want… I want to treat you right, _this_ time. Treat you with the love you deserve. I want to _love_ you right.”

“You want…” Sehun hiccups, pulling back to look at Jongin in the eyes. “You want us to… start over?”

“If you’ll let me,” the other tells him.

And Sehun gazes into Jongin’s eyes, sees his dark brown orbs that are normally swirling with chaos, surprisingly clear for once. Open. _Bared._

Brimming with _love_.

The same loving gaze Kai used to give him, in the past. And for all of Kai and his lies and deceptions and manipulations, there had only ever been one thing Sehun sincerely believed Kai had been honest about:

That Kai loved Sehun. This is the unflinching truth.

And maybe―maybe this is a second chance. Maybe god had finally seen all the shit Sehun’s gone through. Finally taken pity on him and given him one more chance at _happiness_.

Kai is alive. And even if he is Jongin now―even if he doesn’t really remember Sehun and all the things they’ve been through together―

If he still _loves_ Sehun, then maybe that’s good enough.

Maybe that day, when Kai had fallen off the rooftop, he was _killed_ ―

―and Jongin is reborn from his ashes.

And maybe, this isn’t a bad thing at all.

“Sehun…?” Jongin says uncertainly, nervous at his lack of answer.

Sehun breathes in, breathes out. Lips slowly curling into a genuine smile, and says, “Okay.”

“Okay…?”

“Okay. Let’s start over. You and I.”

And when Jongin gives him a _blinding_ smile back, pulling him into a sweet kiss, Sehun’s heart is finally at _peace_ for the first time in five years.

 

 ☩

 

**LOVE KILLER EPILOGUE. . .**   
_/another side_

☩

“Sehun? What’s that?”

Sehun looks up from where he’s leaning over the counter. “I bought a fish tank. Thought I’d like to keep some fish as pets.”

“Hmn,” Jongin hums, walking up to him and gazing into the fish tank. “That’s quite a variety of fish you’ve bought.”

“Isn’t it?” Sehun smiles brightly. “I like my tank colorful with all the different types. It’s a shame I can’t buy my favorite one, though.”

“Your favorite type of fish…” The other tilts his head, inspecting him. “Dolphins, right?’

Sehun freezes. “H―How do you know?” For one horrifying moment, he wonders if Jongin had regained his memories as “Kai”, and he doesn’t know if he should feel dread or relief.

The older man, however, simply reaches a hand out towards the collar of his shirt and hooks a finger inside. “Your necklace,” he replies, twirling the crystal dolphin around. “You always wear it. I’ve never seen you taken it off.”

“Ah, yeah…” Sehun lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “This… This was a present from you, actually.”

“Really?” Jongin blinks in surprise.

“Mnn…” Sehun nods, slightly distracted as the memories flood him. Kai had bought it as a… replacement, for the necklace he took as… _collateral_ , of some sort, for their bet.

Sehun wonders where his old necklace is, now. Is it still inside Kai’s house? Did Kai hide it somewhere? Will the location be lost forever now that Kai no longer exists?

“Sehun?”

“Ah,” Sehun snaps out of his memories, trying for a smile. “You bought this for me when we visited the Lotte World Aquarium two years ago.”

“Oh.” There’s a regretful look in his eyes when he says, “I guess I can’t take you there again like this, huh?”

‘Like this’ as in being under house arrest. As in being unable to set a single foot outside the house unless special permissions are given.

Six months.

“But you know,” Sehun divulges, closing his eyes. “I think I’d rather prefer this.”

“Huh?”

“Back when you were free,” he explains, “you could go anywhere. You could take me anywhere, but… I was always so… _anxious_ , then. I’d never know if the place you were taking me to would be a good place or not. I was always… worried, for what you would do.”

Sehun drops his head. “This might sound selfish, but… Knowing that you can’t go anywhere right now,”― _knowing you can’t go out and do bad things_ ―”gives me a sense of… _respite_. Because whenever I get home from work, you’d always be there waiting for me. I am happy we can be together like this, so I don’t care if we can’t go out to places.”

“Oh…”

“I’m sorry, this sounds awfully selfish of me, doesn’t it?” Sehun winces, gnawing on his lip. “It’s definitely not pleasant at all being stuck inside a house 24/7, is it?”

“Hmn… I guess not, but…” Jongin has a look of pondering on his face before giving him a soft smile. “But I’m like you, you know. Just as you don’t mind us not being able to go out on dates, I don’t mind not being able to go outside as long as you’re by my side.”

“Hehe,” Sehun chuckles quietly, face flushing with happiness from the words. “Ah, you know, we took a commemorative photo that day, when we went to the aquarium. Would you like to see it? I kept it in one of the drawers.”

“Sure,” Jongin replies indulgently, a thumb brushing over his reddened cheek.

“Oh, but don’t laugh when you see it, okay? Back then, I had this, like. Obnoxious blond slash bubblegum pink hair, and it looked pretty silly…”

“You would never look silly to me,” Jongin tells him. “You are always the most beautiful person in the room to me.”

“Ahhh, don’t say such cheesy stuff, you’re going to make my head explode!” Sehun whines even though there’s a giddy smile on his face. “Stay here. Let me go get it―”

“Sehun,” Jongin calls out suddenly, grabbing onto his wrist to stop him halfway. When Sehun turns back to him, there’s a somber expression on his face. “Are you happy?”

“Huh?”

“Are you _happy_?” the other repeats, eyes boring into him. His orbs are always so dark, and Sehun never fails to feel lost inside their abyss. “Are you happy, like _this_?”

“Like this?”

“Me forgetting everything,” he clarifies. “We must’ve… had a lot of memories together, right? Are you okay with me not remembering a thing? All those times we’ve shared?”

Sehun keeps quiet, gazing steadily back at Jongin, and answers in a soft voice. “It’s true that you’ve lost all the memories we’ve had together, and those were what made us… fall in love with each other. You forgot why you loved me, and you forgot why I loved you.”

“But Jongin, you know… There were happy times, but there were _sad_ times, as well. And honestly, I thought I had lost you forever that day, when you fell off the building, so… you being alive, and being _here_ , with _me_ , is all that matters to me, now.”

“Sehun…”

“I just… All I want for us now, is to be together, peacefully. And maybe make new memories. Happy ones.” _Only happy ones_ , Sehun prays silently. _Please, let me be happy for once._

“And what if… What if I remember one day?”

Sehun keeps his gaze steady on the other when he answers, “Then I guess we’ll cross that bridge when it comes.”

“Would you want me to regain my memories?”

“I don’t know.” Sehun drops his head, eyes lingering on their intertwined hands. “I don’t know.”

“Would you still love me no matter what?”

At this, Sehun snaps his head up, eyes wide, because―

Because Sehun had asked this question to Kai before, and Kai had in turn asked this back at him.

☩

_“I meant,” Sehun says, gazing into the other’s eyes, “do you love me no matter what happens? No matter what’ll become to either of us?”_

_Kai tilts his head. “Did you take some lessons from Kris? That guy is so ridiculously cynical, I don’t know how Chanyeol handle him, to be honest.”_

_“Kaiiii,” Sehun whines, “answer the question!”_

_“Haha, alright,” Kai acquiesce, chuckling. “I’ll love you no matter what happens. That, I’m sure of.”_

_“Really?” Sehun asks, staring intently into Kai’s eyes, but the latter’s gaze is unflinching._

_“Really.” Kai leans forward and gives him a quick peck before asking, “What about you?”_

_“Me?”_

_Kai nods. “Would you love me no matter what happens? In the past, the present, or the future?”_

_Sehun takes a deep breath, closing his eyes before slowly fluttering them open. “You’re the first person I’ve ever loved,” he confesses. “I don’t think… I don’t think I’ll ever know what it’s like to not be in love with you, because I don’t know any other way than to love you.”_

☩

Sehun laughs softly, almost _bitterly_ , to himself, because despite all that’s happened, his answer hasn’t changed.

It never did.

“Yeah,” he whispers, eyes softening as his lips curve into a faint smile, something sad and nostalgic about it. “Yeah, I would.”

Jongin caresses his cheek, keeping his eyes on the other the whole time when he takes a step closer until they’re mere millimeters apart. “Would you save me when the time comes?”

“What?”

“Maybe this, now, is compensation for your unfaltering love towards me, despite all that’s happened. Maybe your love _saved_ me, Sehun.”

“Jongin…” Sehun breathes when the other presses a soft kiss onto his cheek, pulling back to give him a small, but sincere smile.

“And if I am ever led astray again, will you save me, again?”

“Save you…”

“ _Let you_ ,” Jongin says, each word a whisper that echoes hauntingly inside Sehun’s ears, “ _redeem me_.”

_Tick tock._ Like a ticking time bomb.

That will one day surely explode.

“ _Let your love redeem me_ , when the time comes.”

**LOVE KIL. . .**

**/error/**

☓

He wakes up to an empty bed.

There’s a note on the counter from Sehun, saying the younger had went out to buy some groceries, and he’ll be back around noon.

His fingers glide over the paper lovingly before he gets up and walks down the stairs to the living room.

Tinkers with the wires inside the phone until he’s satisfied, then dials a number.

The phone keeps ringing until it’s picked up on the last ring.

_“Finally. It only took you three months to call,”_ is the dry voice answering him.

“And a good morning to you, too,” he drawls. “I see you’re still as informal with me as ever.”

_“Please,”_ the one on the line huffs out, and he can practically _hear_ the eyeroll through the speakers. _“I can’t believe you really managed to do it.”_

“Please,” he mimics, mocking the man back. “Did you _really_ expect anything less from me? _Me_ , Kyungsoo?”

_“True, but…”_ Kyungsoo relents, sighing in exasperation. _“To think, everything really did happen like you said it would.”_

“Of course,” he replies, plopping down the chair and head tilting back, eyes closed.

_“Of course,”_ the other echoes.

“Everything went according to plan,” Kai murmurs in satisfaction, lips slowly curving into a pleased yet ominous smirk.

_Looks like I won, Sehuna._

☓

**LOVE RED...**

**...EEM...**

**...ER...**

**/begin?/**

☓

 

The phone rings five times before it connects.

“As always, it took you forever to pick up the phone.”

The person on the other line tuts, clearly annoyed. “And it took you forever to contact me.”

“Hey, I _am_ under house arrest, you know. That means being watched 24/7.”

“Then is it safe to call now?”

“The wonderful thing about living with a cop that supervises your sentence, is that cop is the sole person to monitor the equipments. And I’m not bad with technology―or ways to get around it. After all, you’ve taught me well.”

The other makes a noise, almost pleased. “So how are you? I did as told and kept everyone away from you since, but I tried to keep up with the news as much as I could. I heard you were gravely injured.”

He hums, leaning back onto the chair. “Mnn, it was… touch and go for a bit there.”

“We didn’t factor Kim Minseok into the equation,” the other notes.

“No. I was going to use Luhan. I knew he was going to betray me. And I knew he was working with a cop. I just didn’t know that cop was the son of someone I had killed, and wanted to take revenge.”

“I read your list of injuries from the hacked hospital records,” the other states. “It’s a wonder you’re alive at all.”

He chuckles, a deep sound. “After all I’ve been through… You didn’t think I’d die from _that_ , did you?”

The other pauses. “I suppose not, but… It was still very dangerous, Jongin. You really actually could’ve died. Never mind the bloodloss, but that fall from ten story above―”

“There were a bunch of trees below. I knew the layout of the place, you know.”

“Yeah, but if something had gone wrong―”

“No pain, no gain,” he cuts in, lips curled into a haughty smirk. “You can’t ever achieve anything without putting yourself at risk. That’s been my motto since Day 1, you knew that.”

“I did, but…” A sigh.

“Look, it all worked out in the end, right? Everything went perfectly according to plan. Just the way I predicted it would.”

“I swear, you are actually clairvoyant or something. Should look into being a psychic who tells people their fortunes. Make a lot of cash that way.”

He barks out a laugh. “Did you actually make a joke at me? _You_?”

“Tsk,” the other grumbles. “So what now? There’s a reason for this phone call, right?”

“Mnn,” he spins the chair around leisurely, licking his lip. “This is why I said you’re the one who knows me best. Yeah, I want you to do something for me.”

“What is it?”

“Get rid of two very annoying _pests_ for me.”

“Annoying pests…” the other repeats slowly, mulling over. “Luhan’s still alive, right? I’m guessing he’s one. And the other… if it’s for the same reason you want to get rid of Luhan, then… Junmyeon?”

“See, this is why I like you so much, Kyungsoo,” he coos. “Even Luhan couldn’t get on your level, back when he was still a fool for me. You were the only one who ever knew what I wanted without me having to voice it out.”

“Perks of knowing you for seventeen years now, I suppose,” the other retorts dryly.

“Mnn-hmn… So yes, Luhan because he’s been quiet since that day and I don’t know if he still harbors that _delusion_ of wanting to take Sehun away from me. Junmyeon… well. He _still_ obviously harbors the delusion. You should’ve seen the deathglare he gave me the day my sentence was announced.”

“I can imagine. He gave me the same face last time we met.”

“ _Parasites_ , both of them,” he sneers. “Do whatever it takes to kill them. Throw their bodies into the sea to get eaten by the fish, I don’t care. I’ve let them lived for too long.”

“Or you’re just becoming even more possessive over Sehun,” Kyungsoo points out exasperatedly.

“Whatever,” he dismisses. “So yeah, there’s your order.”

“Understood,” the other answers. Then, in a more hesitant tone, “Hey, Jongin?”

“Hmn?”

“You―You’re going to come back, right? I mean, ruling Exo is nice and all, but you know I’m more of a behind-the-scene type of guy. And it’s not… It’s not the same, without you.”

“Of course it isn’t, I _made_ Exo,” he replies easily. “Exo wouldn’t exist without me today. Kim Jaewoon would’ve ran it into the ground after a few years if I hadn’t initiated a coup d'état and usurped him.”

“Right,” Kyungsoo agrees. “So… it’s not the same, without you here.”

“From what I’ve heard, you seem to do a perfectly fine job as a temporary boss, though.”

“That’s what it is, though, right? Just… _temporary_? You know most of the guys despise me. They only remain out of their loyalty to you.”

Another spin of the chair, his eyes settling onto the clock on the counter. “I will come back,” he says, each words clear. Definite. “After I finish my business here. Six months. That’s the duration of my house arrest. I think it’s enough time to do what I need to do.”

“And what is… that? Something to do with Sehun?”

“Mnn…” he hums vaguely, knowing Kyungsoo won’t push if he doesn’t elaborate.

Sehun. Sehun Sehun _Sehun_.

Six months should be enough time.

“I will be back in six months. Back to lead Exo again. Back to being its boss. You can tell the guys that. Tell them to wait for me until then.”

“They will,” Kyungsoo answers, voice confident. “You know we’re all loyal to you, Jongin.”

He chuckles, a pleased sound. “I know. Good men.”

“Yes. And I will guide Exo in the meantime. I won’t let you down.”

“I know you won’t, my precious right-hand man,” he drawls. Then shifts his gaze out the hallway. “I need to go now. I’ll talk to you next time.”

“Okay.”

He’s just put the phone back to where it was when he hears the lock jingle from the front door.

“Jongin, I’m home! I bought fried chicken from Kyochon―I know you like them,” a voice shouts across the walls, and he leisurely walks into the hallway.

“Sorry, were you waiting long? There were so many people at the supermarket, and―” Sehun’s voice halts, bags slipping from his hands down to the floor as Jongin comes up to him and crushes him into a hug suddenly.

“J―Jongin?”

“I woke up and you were gone,” he breathes, fingers carding through the soft locks of Sehun’s hair as his other hand slides around his waist. “You know I can’t go after you―I’m stuck inside this house.”

“Sorry… But you know I need to go grocery shopping right? Otherwise both of us would starve here,” Sehun replies, cracking a teasing grin at him when they pull back to gaze at each other.

He only returns the smile, palm sliding down to stroke at Sehun’s cheek gently. “You know I love you, right?”

“I know,” Sehun replies, his grin morphing into a shy smile, pretty crescent eyes and pink cheeks. “I love you, too. But you’re being so cheesy right now, gosh.”

“I will tell you every second of every day, because it’s all true,” he tells the other quietly before leaning in and connecting their lips together.

And as he feels the pliant, soft lips of Sehun’s parting, easily letting him inside, he knows one thing.

He can’t live without _this_.

He can’t live without Sehun by his side. Can’t live without being able to see him, to touch him, to _feel_ him.

 _Kai_ can’t live without _Sehun_.

He guides the younger man slowly backward, back hitting the wall and Sehun simply just _yields_ beautifully beneath him, sweet moans getting swallowed up inside Kai’s mouth. Kai finds he can’t stop kissing him, can’t stop tangling their tongues together, drunk on the _intoxicating_ taste that is purely just Sehun’s.

And in that one single moment, it hits him clearer than ever before. Like a trainwreck. A _planecrash_.

Kai will do _anything_ to keep Sehun by his side.

Anything at all.

And he will _destroy_ everyone and everything who can break them apart, regardless of any consequences.

 _I am a sinner, a monster_ , he thinks as his lips trail down the curve of Sehun’s neck, fingers frantic to seek out the hot heat of Sehun’s bare skin. _But let this love redeem me._

_Let you redeem me and lock me up, in a cage with just the two of us, and throw away the key._

_Let me have you in my arms even if I don’t deserve it,_

_Sehuna._

 

 

**LOVE REDEEMER. . .**   
_/begin--/_

**Author's Note:**

> the gist is that kai wants to be with sehun despite sehun wanting to "be a good cop/person", so kai created a situation where he got hurt (gaining sehun's sympathy) and pretended to have amnesia so he can "rightfully" be with sehun without sehun feeling guilty.
> 
> how long will this facade and ~fake happy ending~ last, is the question...
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated! if you're still sticking around to read this after so much has happened, then thank you!! ♥
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kittysehuna) for updates and have a chat on [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/sehuna)!


End file.
